Dear Miss Goldberg,
I’d like to wish you a happy 54th (54? Really? you look about 70) birthday.
In noticing it’s your birthday, it also shows that you are still alive and [sadly] not dead.
I implore you, and pray to every god, that you will be crushed by a huge meteor one day, but I digress.
Happy 54th birthday, may it be the last birthday you share with us. (: