Your yellow exterior, brighter than the sun,
Your intoxicating beautiful smell,
Give me a million of your kind and I will make love to each and every one.
This infatuation has developed, from a mere crush, to me proclaiming you my paramour,
My roast beef flavoured whore.
I miss you when you’re not around,
My taste buds ache, I shake, I break
Never leave me and I will be eternally grateful.
You are my world, my everything.. You are my roast beef Monster Munch.
Yes this is truly why I love London. I mean, in what other city do the public transport company have to warn people that you’re not supposed to abuse the staff at train stations? Quite excellent. I for one think the staff should be abused. Anger is never a good thing to keep bottled up, so it needs to be released before it builds up even more. So, the next time you’re at a train station shout at the staff, it’s the right thing to do.
Pubate. Pronounced Pube-ate. I’ll give you a moment to chuckle.
Now that you’re done laughing, yes I was talking to someone whose surname is actually Pubate, which I found absolutely hysterical and I quite rightly mocked her as much as I could. I’m not sure how long the Pubate legacy has gone on for but surely one of those silly Pubates should have noticed that their surname is astoundingly stupid and either had it legally changed or not had any children so the Pubate name would have died with them. I’ve checked ancestry websites and there’s no record of the surname Pubate which just adds more mystery to this odd name.
To me, Pubate sounds like a product that’s used to kill pubic lice..
I’ll get straight to the point: Why the fuck don’t they make panda slippers for men-size feet?!
It is absolutely ridiculous that anything panda related is usually for girls, when men like pandas too. This sexist view from panda merchandisers is sickening. I spent hours searching for a pair of panda slippers to fit my size 12 feet, partly because my old slippers are almost completely dead and partly because I am panda crazy. I’ve recently added two webcam links on the right sidebar of my blog for the Smithsonian Institution in Washington DC, so any fellow pandanatics can get their fix of panda watching any time of day.
Back to the matter at hand, there is absolutely no website retailer out there that make panda slippers for my feet. The largest size I could find fit a size 6. A size 6?! I’d need to buy two pairs and sew them together for them to fit my feet, which is something I’m actually contemplating doing. I hope one day panda merchandisers will realise that panda lovers are male too. Pic of the slippers I want below.
Gullible people; Should we pity them or do they deserve what they get?
I’ve met numerous gullible people in my life, some gullible because of sheer stupidity, others due to being blissfully unaware of the real world. These kinds of people are hard to respect or sympathise with, but sooner or later they’ll learn (one can only hope).
I’m a very blunt and honest individual, and when met with a shot of honesty gullible people seem to feel like you’re attacking them and that you’re the enemy when all you’re trying to do is look out for them.
The sad thing is that ultimately they will be brought crashing back down to earth, and when they open their eyes they’ll be looking to you for support when all you want to do is say “I told you so”. Fight the urge, and just continue to be a friend to them.
At the end of the day, all you can do is be honest, and hope that, sooner rather than later, they’ll realise what you’re doing for them.