Top 10 Ways to get Yourself Fired
It’s Top 10 time once again, and I’ll be counting down the Top 10 Ways to get Yourself Fired.
10. Don’t actually do any work
It’s the easiest way but it’s also the least creative way which is why this is number 10.
9. Sleep with your boss’ wife
A way to get fired while also getting some sex, all win.
8. Call in sick and tweet
Why not call in sick and then tweet about how much fun you had on your day off on your company’s Twitter account. Sure to piss off the boss.
7. Put your pants in the microwave
A perfect choice for the winter; Pop a pair of your pants (even better if they’re stained) into the microwave, and when someone questions you just claim you were making them nice and toasty.
6. Hitler moustache
A controversial yet effective solution is to come into work with a Hitler moustache and start spouting German words at every opportunity.
5. Spike the water cooler with Jagermeister
An option that can produce some hilarious situations when all your co-workers are absolutely wankered.
4. Sleep with a co-worker and put up naked photos of her
Why not redecorate the workplace with naked photos of a co-worker? It’ll soon gain her slag status within the office and will also ensure that you’re forced to leave.
3. Look at animal porn on your work computer
Convince your co-workers you have zoophilia by browsing some animal porn at work. They’ll soon stop talking to you and you’ll soon be out the door to freedom.
2. Come to work naked
For the brave out there, come into work in the buff. You’ll be carted out of there quicker than you can say “like what you see?”.
1. Poop on your boss’ desk
Inspired by Eric Cartman. Go into your boss’ office, get on his desk, pull down your trousers and lay a huge steaming fudge pie. 100% desperate and 100% effective.
Hope you picked up some tips and have fun at the job centre!