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Top 10 Sexual positions that old people should never attempt

Top 10 Sexual positions that old people should never attempt

It’s time for another Top 10. This time I’ll be counting down the Top 10 Sexual positions that old people should never attempt.

Have parents or grandparents that are going at it like bunnies? Point them to this Top 10 to make sure they don’t break a hip!

10. Arch

Grandma could easily dislocate something with this maneuver.

9. Twister

With this position there’s always the danger of them being stuck that way forever.

8. Wheelbarrow

I think the only wheelbarrow granddad should be picking up is the one in the garden!

7. Ballerina

This position requires a lot of flexibility that even some younger people can’t pull it off so the elderly have no chance.

6. Amazon

Great looking position, and another hip breaker.

5. Bumper Cars

Too old for the real bumper cars and definitely too old for this version.

4. Brute

Gives a whole new meaning to the term granddad’s chair.

3. 69 (standing)

Struggling to hold an erection and grandma at the same time is not recommended.

2. Doggy Style (twisted)

I think old people could just about pull off the standard doggy style position, but this variation is surely lethal for them.

1. Pile Driver

Guaranteed to kill grandma; First from the multiple orgasms then from the broken neck, shoulders and her whole vertebrae.

Hope you enjoyed my Top 10 and picked up some tips for next time you’re in the bedroom!

Please remember, God does not will old people to try these positions. However, he does will you to laugh when they fall over.

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  1. cherí Breauchel
    April 15, 2014 at 2:41 pm | #1

    Are there supposed to be images here, of some sort, to show us old folks what we are not supposed to try??? LMBO

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